


ashes

by muskimir



Category: GOT7, JJ Project
Genre: Angst, Crying, Emo, I need a hug, JJ Project - Freeform, M/M, Mild Smut, Non-Graphic Smut, as in really emo lol, ends with them all over each other, jayjaypeeeeeee, jjp, jjp angst, jjp mild smut ahahaha, love jj project, love that for me, man, okay please read now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-10-05 12:55:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20489234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/muskimir/pseuds/muskimir
Summary: jaebeom and jinyoung's relationship has always been on the edge, but those two always fight through fires to get to each other - even it means rising from their ashes to do so.aka jjp au where they shout at each other and it ends in them making love





	ashes

"i used to think that i didn't deserve to be loved; now i know that it's true."

"jaebeom, for fuck's sake!" his lover's collar crumpled in his fist, just like jinyoung's dignity. he wanted to slap the taste out of jaebeom's mouth for bearing that distasteful grin.

"why, baby, wh-"

"you fucking hate me, don't you?"

jinyoung had done what he wished to do without physically doing it. jaebeom's mouth went dry.

"w-what?"

jinyoung's fist opened to claw at his own neck. he averted his stingy, bloodshot eyes to stare at the ground - typical jinyoung. 

"why do you hate me so much?" he murmured, his voice venomous enough to kill jaebeom's heart. "you never loved me anyway. if you did..."

jinyoung looked straight into jaebeom's eyes.

"...you would have believed me."

they were trapped in this never ending cycle of misery. their relationship went from fireworks on a starry night to something akin to a scorching blaze, burning down everything in its wake. now, jaebeom thought in that moment, they were like gasoline. they hid themselves from each other in order to be each other’s saviours, but that only resulted in them burning their boyfriends to the ground.

and the ashes of a person aren’t nearly as beautiful as their beating heart.

jinyoung turned his back on jaebeom to walk towards the door. he couldn’t bear to be in the same room as the man whose life he’d ruined. or that’s what he thought. and then he heard the all-too-familiar sound of a punch to the concrete wall and the crack of a knuckle. and before he knew it, he was shoving jaebeom against the same wall and screaming, “it’s all my fucking fault! i made you this way!”

jaebeom’s calloused hands grabbed jinyoung’s face. his heavy breath fell on jinyoung’s nose – it smelled of mint and metal. “it’s not your fault,” he rambled, “it’s mine because i can never take care of you and that comes back to haunt me and i know that the body next to me every night can never fall asleep because jinyoungie, i can’t either, and- ”

“when you will you stop hating yourself?” jinyoung wailed. “you’re not the failure here, i am!”

here they were again. questioning themselves and asking if they were the ones ruining the relationship. they knew how the conversation would go far too well – they would twist knives into each other’s guts until someone was broken enough to apologise and the other was forced to stow the weapon away for another sleepless night.

but jaebeom couldn’t do that anymore. and if he couldn’t love himself, he was going to love jinyoung.

and so he placed his mouth on jinyoung’s swollen lips and whispered, “let me show you how precious you are to me.”

jinyoung moved back hesitantly. “beom-ah…”

“maybe you’re the one who's suffering from self-hatred more than i am. and i’m tired of this conversation. so why don’t we just forget it?”

“beom-ah, i can’t do that.” jinyoung’s ragged breathing gave away the fact that this was the reason for his insomnia - the fact that he believed he was hurting jaebeom. “i know you’re hurting and even if you don’t care, i do.”

“fucking hell, park jinyoung!” now it was jaebeom who had lost his temper. “there’s nothing wrong with me, and there’s nothing wrong with us.” jaebeom pulled jinyoung back and let his finger slide across those lush lips. it had been so long since they’d felt each other, touched each other. when was the last time they had burned each other and made each other scream and it hadn’t hurt their hearts, but instead made them come alive?

“you have to fucking believe me.” jaebeom’s hand slid down to jinyoung’s crotch and rubbed over the thick denim. jinyoung’s lips parted to let out a soft gasp. “beom-ah-“

“that’s fucking hyung for you.” jaebeom’s anger and denial had pooled up in his stomach to awaken the monster he kept tamed inside. “and hyung is going to make you feel better than you’ve ever felt before.”

jinyoung grabbed jaebeom’s collar once again, but this time, it was to grab onto his neck and shove his tongue into his mouth.

do you know how it’s like to taste the ashes of a lover?

it starts out with a tiny spark of anger. the residual anger that had reduced them to dust. it tastes like the colour black with specks of crimson. and then it turns into desire. lust. passion. a raging passion that overflows between tongues and roaming hands, that makes you want to feel your lover deep inside you, to know them like nobody else in the world. and it is that what radiates off of you and causes the impossible to happen, the ashes to reignite and your lover to rise again, majestically enough to make you melt into them.

and that’s how, from ashes, they became jaebeom and jinyoung once more.

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this for my girlfriend yeehaw


End file.
